Articles Posted in Divorce and Remarriage

school-balloons-represents-youth-male-and-learnedChange is a big part of any divorce. When you have children, dealing with change can be one of the most difficult parts of the divorce.  No matter how many times people tell you that “kids are resilient and everything will be okay” it doesn’t make it any easier.  The truth is, most kids handle divorce well especially when their parents are able to successfully co-parent.  Nonetheless, there is one change that no amount of co-parenting can make easier.  That is changing schools.  Most families only have one residence which means that at least one parent will need to find a new home.   If that new home happens to be in the same neighborhood as the former family residence, then changing schools should not be an issue.  More often than not however, one parent moves to a residence that is zoned for a different school than the children currently attend.

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It was recently reported that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odem finally submitted their divorce judgment for processing with the Court.  I say finally because the case was first filed in Deccalifornia-screamin-1560355ember 2013.  It was stagnate for nearly two years while Lamar allegedly battled substance abuse issues.  When Lamar nearly died in October 2015, Khloe dismissed the divorce, only to re-file in May 2016.   The years long saga is now over, but that does not mean the parties’ divorce case is over.  The Court still needs to process the Judgment, and there is no way to know how long that will take.

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Child support in California can beregulations-rules-represents-protocol-guidance-and-regulated very complicated and the changed circumstances rule is one of the reasons why. The changed circumstances rule requires a court to deny a request to modify child support if the court determines that there was no material change in circumstances since the time the last child support order was made.

First, let’s go over some basics. California, like every other state, is required to have a Guideline formula to determine what the proper amount of support should be. The Court is required to follow the Guideline, absent a few very narrowly construed exceptions (See Family Code section 4059). If a child support order is determined to be “above Guideline,” i.e. more than what the formula would provide, that child support order cannot be subsequently changed unless there has been a material change of circumstances. However, if a child support order is determined to be “below guideline,” no change of circumstances is required to increase that order to a Guideline order. Continue reading

Divorce is never ideal. Even in the most amicable of divorces, it is never the outcome that any couple dreams of on the day that they fall in philippines-holiday-indicates-asian-vacation-or-getawaylove and decide to get married. However, as difficult as divorce might be, financially, emotionally, and otherwise, imagine the alternative. Imagine that you are stuck married to a spouse with whom you are miserable, just because the laws of your county make it that way.

This is exactly the case in the Philippines, the only country in the world (outside of the Vatican), where divorce is still illegal. There, couples may file for a legal separation, which would allow them to lead separate lives and split their property, but they remain legally married. If parties do become legally separated, they are not able to remarry later, and even worse, if they become engaged in a new relationship even after legal separation has been granted, they risk being criminally charged for committing adultery. Continue reading

17-year-divorce-caseMuch to our dismay, the couple once lovingly known by the public as “Bennifer,” a.k.a. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, announced back in June of 2015 that they were going to get a divorce. This was just before the couple’s 10-year anniversary. They reportedly consulted with legal counsel, mediators, and business managers, and agreed that they wouldn’t file the actual divorce papers until after they mediated and resolved all of the issues surrounding custody and property division.

Now over a year since the divorce news broke, neither Jen nor Ben has actually taken the plunge and filed a divorce petition. While Ben has been fairly open about the fact that he never wanted to split from Jen, it finally sounds like the divorce is officially off the table. In their case, the couple is pretty lucky that they didn’t yet file their divorce paperwork. Although it is not difficult to have a divorce petition dismissed, they did not have to bother with the extra steps necessary in actually filing for divorce and then filing a request for a dismissal.

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engagement-ring

“Will you marry me?” Once that special question is popped, generally it is followed up with that beautiful, but expensive diamond ring placed on her finger. So what happens to the ring when the wedding doesn’t happen?

Generally, once a gift is made in California it cannot be revoked. However, Civil Code § 1590 provides a specific rule for the gift of an engagement ring.

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rekindled-love.jpgThose who haven’t been too jaded by divorce may choose to re-marry again. Perhaps they now know what they are looking for (or certain characteristics they are trying to avoid) in a partner or they are simply in a difference stage of life and ready for another go at marriage. But after all of the time, money and emotions that many couples go through to get divorced, the last thing you would probably expect is for that couple to give their relationship another try after their divorce has already been finalized and they have been restored to single status.

Believe it or not, people change, circumstances change, and sometimes ex-spouses are actually able to rekindle their flame post-divorce. If you are thinking about remarrying your ex, then you not only need to proceed with caution, but you also need to become educated on how your reconciliation or re-marriage will affect your divorce decree. Reconciliation after the divorce judgment has been finalized and entered by the court may require the assistance of an experienced family law attorney.

remarrying-your-ex.jpgIf you decide to re-marry your ex-husband, you may be surprised to know that not all of the provisions in your divorce decree are necessarily negated by your re-marriage. For example, many divorce judgments have a provision whereby the former spouse has waived the right to inherit from the other spouse. Remarriage to that same spouse does not void the divorce judgment, so a new estate plan will need to be considered. Spousal support is another tricky issue with regard to remarriage after a divorce judgment. If the divorce judgment includes a provision for one spouse to pay the other spousal support, when the parties remarry the spousal support will be terminated. However, if the spousal support had already ceased before remarriage, and the parties remarry but divorce a second time, then the Court might only take into consideration the length of the second marriage, rather than the combination of the first and second marriages to the same person. As discussed in my blog entitled “Reconciling after Filing for Divorce but Before Divorce is Finalized,” the division of your assets and calculation of support may be significantly affected by filing for divorce a second time after reconciliation or re-marriage to the same person.

It would behoove you to consult with an experienced San Diego divorce attorney before you re-marry your ex-spouse and determine exactly which provisions of your divorce decree will survive your re-marriage. Hopefully the second time is a charm and your reconciliation is not a temporary fix. But in any case, if you have taken steps towards protecting yourself, your family and your finances, you will be better off.
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divorce-records-couple.jpgAt some point during your divorce you will inevitably be feeling emotionally drained. You may feel like the only person in the world going through your type of situation or you may wonder if there is hope for you to someday remarry again. Here are some fun facts regarding world record holders for marriage and divorce to help lighten your mood for those difficult times during a divorce.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records:

Highest Divorce Rate:
The Maldives is the country with the highest divorce rate in the world. The Maldives has 10.97 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants per year. The Unites States is third in line, with 4.34 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants. So even when you feel like the only one going through a difficult time, think of all the other people going through a divorce right alongside you!

Hollywood Stars to Marry the Most Amount of Times:
We are constantly hearing the latest gossip about celebrity marriage and divorces. Well, Lana Turner, Mickey Rooney, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Elizabeth Taylor and Georgia Holt, have surely had plenty of attention as they have each been married eight times. So even if you’re going through your second or third divorce, just remember that some people have gone through seven divorces!

divorce-records-hands.jpgOldest Person to Get Divorced:
Harry Bidwell of the United Kingdom is the oldest known divorcee. He divorced his 65 year old wife on November 21, 1980 at the age of 101. Just imagine trying to handle all of the divorce paperwork at age 101, seems a bit daunting. Bidwell is proof that you’re never too old to get divorced.

Oldest Couple to Get Married:
In February 2002, Francois Fernandez and Madeleine Francineau exchanged marriage vows in France at the age of 96 years 290 days and 94 years 201 days, respectively. Even if your dating life seems bleak during or after a divorce, remember that there is still hope of finding a mate as you get older.

Most Marriage Vow Renewals by the Same Couple:
Apparently one wedding wasn’t enough for US couple Lauren Lubeck Blair and David E. Hough Blair, who as of November 2011 have renewed their marriage vows 101 times since they first got married in 1984. Additionally, all of those wedding ceremonies have been in separate locations. Oddly enough, the first time that David proposed Lauren said no!

Couple to be Married the Longest:
If you’re thinking about getting married again after your divorce maybe you should get some advice from Herbert Fisher and Zelmyra Fisher who, as of February 2011, were married for over 86 years.
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divorce-heart-001.jpgTMZ reports that actor Jeremy London managed to finalize his divorce from Melissa Cunningham, get married to Juliet Reeves and become a new father to son Wyatt all in the span of one week! That sure is a lot of change for one person. With all that change, I wonder if he contemplated how his new marriage might affect the terms of his recent divorce.

It is very common for people to get remarried after a divorce. Usually the new marriage doesn’t happen quite as quickly as London’s did. Nonetheless, before getting remarried, it is important to seriously consider how your remarriage can affect many of the benefits that you may still be receiving as the result of a previous divorce. One specific consideration is the possibility of discontinuation of spousal support.

Spousal support, for instance, will cease when the partner who is receiving the support remarries, unless the parties have agreed in writing otherwise (California Family Code Section 4337). If you settled your divorce, your agreement should include a provision to this effect. However, some agreements may specifically state that spousal support will continue to be paid regardless of whether the supported spouse gets remarried. Or an agreement may provide for a lump sum support payment or transfer of property in lieu of support, in which case the supported spouse’s remarriage will not affect the spousal support agreement. If you are contemplating remarriage, it is important to review the terms of your divorce agreement and to be aware of the fact that there is a good chance that as soon as you get remarried, you will stop getting that monthly support check in the mail from your previous spouse.

divorce-remarriage-001.jpgIf you are the payor of spousal support and you are the one who remarries, then your obligation to pay spousal support to your first spouse will not cease. However, re-marriage after a divorce will still have a significant impact on the person who was the bread-winner in the first marriage (i.e. typically the one paying support). Not only is that person contributing to the finances of the former household, but he/she is now also financially contributing to the new household. This may pose some issues with your new spouse who might resent the fact that a portion of your money is going to your ex-spouse instead of your new family.
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dating-divorce-003.jpgIf you have not started dating during the divorce process, it is a good idea to remain single through the final stages of divorce (within reason). A lot of the major kinks get worked out and all of your paperwork gets finalized at the end of the divorce process. Depending on the amicability of your divorce, if your soon-to-be ex-wife finds out that you are dating someone new, it may derail the entire settlement/closure of your case. On the other hand, if your divorce is extremely contentious and has been dragged out for years, it may be more reasonable for you to begin dating prior to the end of the case. The most important thing is to gauge the situation and to take into consideration how your new love life could impact you financially and emotionally in your divorce.

Once you are officially single, it is important to have clear boundaries with your ex-wife. Are you calling her weekly “just to catch up”? Do you still have personal belongings in her home? Although it is nice to remain friendly with your former spouse (especially if you have children together), it’s probably not a good idea to stay so close. Frequent communication with your ex-wife and trips to her house might create confusion for the both of you during a difficult time. Men should definitely not rush into new relationships just because they are divorced, but it is also healthy to fully separate from a former spouse. Try to avoid pressure from friends and family to “get back out there” if you are not ready. A stereotype persists that men are less emotionally damaged from divorce and that all divorced men are excited to start dating groups of new women. However, if you are not ready for that it could backfire for you creating even more unnecessary drama in your life.

dating-divorce-gym-001.jpgWhen you decide it is a good time to start dating again, it may be a good idea to make some changes to your physical appearance. If you have a gym membership, start going more often. If not, get a membership and start working out on a regular basis. Take better care of your body by eating healthier foods. Show off your new physique with some new clothes. These physical changes will boost your confidence (especially around women) and help improve your overall attitude and mood. When you feel better about your appearance then you can start building a more positive self-image. Overall divorce can be a stressful, exhausting, and devastating process. However, the best way to get past your divorce is to learn from your mistakes, focus on the good memories, and start a new future.
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