San Diego Divorce Attorneys Blog

Nadya Suleman, otherwise known as "Octomom," is famous for giving birth to octuplets in 2009. In addition to her octuplets, Octomom has six other children. Recently Octomom has been criticized in the news for poor parenting. The controversy surrounded a complaint filed by her hair stylist who claimed that the fourteen children were living in substandard conditions. TMZ has reported that only one toilet is operating in the home, which is supplemented with portable toilets located outside in the backyard. According to Suleman, she could not afford to repair the other toilet in the home because the quote of $150 was too expensive. In addition to living in an unsanitary environment, the hair stylist provided photos that suggest the children were locked in a room while Suleman had her hair done.

These images have allegedly sparked an investigation by Child Protective Services (CPS), which will determine whether the children are at risk of any substantial harm. The photos depict a messy house with writing on the walls. The hair stylist has also provided photographs of the outdoor toilets. CPS has responded by saying that a messy house does not violate any law and methods of potty training are within the parent's discretion.

If CPS determines that the children should be permitted to remain in the home up to 12 months of services may be provided to the family in order to improve conditions for the children. If CPS determines that the children are in danger, it will file a petition in Juvenile Court and ask that the children be removed from Suleman's home. If the children are removed, they may be placed with a relative or in foster care depending on the particular circumstances. Further, Suleman will need to take parenting classes and counseling if she wished to reunify with her children. Up to 18 months of services will be provided if a parent is making efforts toward reunification. If she does not satisfy the court's concerns, the children could be placed with a legal guardian or even adopted by another person(s).

Like the hairstylist did in the Octomom case, community members have the opportunity to report suspected abuse or neglect of children. Under California law child abuse includes any of the following: the non-accidental physical injury of the child, willful cruelty or unjustifiable punishment, sexual abuse, and neglectful abuse including failing to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, medical care or supervision.

In any child custody case the most important consideration is the health, safety and welfare of the child. If one parent is not addressing these concerns, typically his or her time with the child is reduced and the child spends more time with the more adequate parent. However, the Suleman case involves a different scenario. Suleman underwent in vitro fertilization and the children do not have a father recognized by the family court system. Therefore, governmental agencies may become involved in ensuring the children are properly cared for.

Please contact us if you have questions regarding child custody and visitation. Nancy J. Bickford is the only attorney in San Diego County representing clients in divorces, who is a Certified Family Law Specialist (CFLS) and who is actively licensed as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). Don't settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.

Famous R & B artist Usher is currently litigating a hotly contested custody case with his former wife Tameka. Tameka and Usher were married for two short years before Usher filed for divorce in 2009. Currently the couple shares joint custody of their two young sons. On Tuesday May 1, the pair attended a court hearing in Georgia where the judge ordered them to work out some type of agreement "or else." The judge instructed them to attempt to reach a temporary child custody and visitation arrangement in a private mediation setting. If they were unable to reach an agreement, the judge would impose a temporary order upon Usher and Tameka. In this case, the two would have no control over the outcome.

It is common in the San Diego family court system for a judge to order parties to attempt reaching a mutually acceptable agreement. Negotiating and mediating disputes, especially those regarding child custody, result in less turmoil in an already hostile situation. This approach tends to promote cooperation and a healthy co-parenting relationship between the parties that is in the best interest of the child. However, when domestic violence is involved in a case, party negotiations will be ineffective and unsuccessful.

Harsh mudslinging has been a common tactic throughout the Raymond custody dispute. Tameka has accused Usher of being behind in child support payments in the amount of at least $34,000. Tameka has also alleged that Usher is an unfit father because he has a habit of doing drugs, specifically prescription pills, in front of their children. As a result of this allegation, she has requested Usher be ordered to undergo drug testing. Usher has denied any drug use and in addition is requesting more time with his children. We have recently blogged about the divorce and the effects on children. In order to promote stability in the children's lives, many resources are available to divorcing couples or adverse parties in custody disputes.

Last year, Tameka requested that the court reduce Usher's custody and visitation rights to their two sons. The children are still very young, the oldest, Usher V is four years old and the youngest, Naviyd, is just three years old. In order to be successful in a child custody and visitation modification motion, the requesting party must show the court that a significant change of circumstance has occurred since the previous court order. One popular ground for this request is that the other parent has become unfit in such a way as to render him or her an ineffective or inappropriate parent. As Tameka has alleged here, drug abuse is a common allegation that, if proved, may result in a change of custody.

Tameka is now requesting a modification in the current child support order. She alleges a "substantial change" in Usher's income since their divorce proceeding. First, in order to collect the unpaid child support, Tameka must be able to prove that Usher in fact had an obligation to pay that support and did not pay it. In San Diego, the Department of Child Support Services is an excellent resource for parents who wish to enforce a current order to collect unpaid support. However, custody and visitation are completely separate from child support orders. If Usher in fact is behind on support, Tameka must still allow him his court-ordered time with the children.

Please contact us if you have questions regarding custody and visitation and/or divorce. Nancy J. Bickford is the only attorney in San Diego County representing clients in divorces, who is a Certified Family Law Specialist (CFLS) and who is actively licensed as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). Don't settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.

1. What is FCS Mediation?

Family Court Services (FCS) provides child custody recommended counseling in family law cases when separating or divorcing parents cannot agree on a child custody sharing plan. Child custody recommended counseling is provided in a private counseling office with a trained court counselor. The FCS conference allows both parents to work together toward a mutually acceptable agreement which is in the best interest of their children. The court counselor will evaluate the case and make a recommendation to the Judge regarding child custody and visitation if the parents are unable to reach an agreement.

2. Is mediation required?

In any dissolution matter regarding child custody and visitation where there is a dispute, Family Code section §3170 mandates that the case be set for child custody recommending counseling prior to the court hearing. Mediation has been required in California for divorcing parents regarding child custody and visitation since 1981.

3. What topics will be discussed in Mediation?

The main topic is child custody and visitation. This includes legal custody and physical custody arrangements. In making a parenting plan, topics such as birthdays, holidays, and summer vacation can be determined by a visitation schedule agreed upon by the parents. Topics such as child support, spousal support, and property division are not usually addressed but agreements can be drafted through your attorney if decided upon mutually by the parents.

Continue reading "FAQ: Family Court Services Mediation in San Diego" »

We have previously blogged about the impact military orders can have on a San Diego parent in a child custody case. Recently, the House Armed Services Committee is considering ways to enhance the provisions in place that protect the parental rights of service members. The Servicemember Family Protection Act is designed to preclude family court judges from ruling against servicemembers based solely on a history of or future deployment in child custody cases. Originally introduced in 2008, the bill has passed the House of Representatives with support from both the Democratic and Republican parties but has repeatedly failed in the Senate. The Defense Department has rejected this bill in favor of passing similar legislation at the state court level.

Often in California child custody cases the family court judge will scrutinize a parent's absence from the child's life. However, servicemembers may be deployed for extended periods of time and have little to no contact with their children. The Servicemember Family Protection Act is intended to excuse a parental absence due to military orders. It is important to note that the bill will not give servicemembers any advantage in child custody cases or hearings, it will only function to remove the disadvantages servicemembers are facing in these proceedings.

Traditionally, deployment has been understood as the movement of military forces from one area to another or sending military personnel into a combat zone. The Servicemember Family Protection Act defines deployment much more broadly for the purposes of child custody proceedings. For the purposes of the bill, deployment would include humanitarian operations and unaccompanied oversee tours as well. The bill has been proposed as an amendment to the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act. The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act was passed as a federal law, which granted special rights to servicemembers who were part of a civil proceeding. In 2008, Congress extended these privileges of the Civil Relief Act to child custody cases. The bill now prevents family courts from making permanent changes to custody orders while a servicemember parent is deployed.

The proponents of the Servicemember Family Protection Act argue that the rights granted by the Civil Relief Act do not go far enough to protect the parental rights of servicemembers. Because family court judges have the power, upon return of a servicemember, to deny him or her custody rights based on his or her employment, the proponents contend a change is needed. This is the scenario discussed by our previous blog. A servicemember deploys and the child begins to reside with the other parent who is temporarily granted full-time custody rights. Upon return of the servicemember, the child is well settled into his or her new routine. Therefore, the family court judge is hesitant to return to the previous court orders in place before the deployment.

In order to facilitate a smooth transition for the child when one parents leaves on a deployment, it is important for both parents to work together. The servicemember should communicate with the other parent regarding the terms of his or her deployment and attempt to make custody arrangements. A functioning co-parent relationship is key for parties furthering the best interest of the child in a custody case.

Please contact us if you have questions regarding custody and visitation. Nancy J. Bickford is the only attorney in San Diego County representing clients in divorces, who is a Certified Family Law Specialist (CFLS) and who is actively licensed as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). Don't settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.

As mentioned last week, statistics show that approximately 50% of marriages will end in divorce. Now that divorce is so prevalent in today's society, we need to find effective ways to minimize the negative effects on children and maximize family support and encouragement through this tough time. Listed below are three proposed solutions that you as a parent can do to help reduce the negative effects divorce may have on your children. Not one solution by itself will eliminate the problem, but a combination of them may significantly decrease the negative effects divorce has on children. These solutions include: divorce education and co-parenting classes, divorce mediation, and family counseling. Also your attorney can engage in collaborative practice of law to further assist in making the divorce process easier on children.

Education Programs

A recent study indicates that 46 states currently offer some version of a parent education program. Some jurisdictions also offer classes for children coping with their parents divorce and a few jurisdictions offer parallel classes for both parents and children. For example, in San Diego, there is a program for children called KidsTurn. Some of these programs are court mandated or recommended by the judge, while others are voluntary. These classes can last anywhere from a few hours in one day up to eight weeks. Many of these programs reported positive findings such that parents either reported decreased interparental conflict or decreased re-litigation.

These education programs aim to do the following: 1) inform parents how children usually respond to divorce; 2) alert parents to the negative effect of conflict and their harmful behaviors on children's adjustment both in the short and long term; 3) discuss benefits of, and skills needed, to build a cooperative or parallel parenting relationship; 4) focus parents on the needs of children for an on-going relationship with each parent; 5) teach positive parenting behaviors and appropriate discipline; 6) discuss the process of adult adjustment to divorce and how to cope with this change; 7) focus on responsibilities of each parent to the children; and 8) describe helpful court processes, such as mediation. This can completely change a person's parenting style and their relationship with their ex spouse and their children.

Co-parenting Classes

Cooperation between parents after divorce includes frequent communication about the child, coordination of routines across households, the ability to resolve differences in a mutually satisfactory manner, and respect for and support of the other parent's relation with the child. In order to accomplish these things without conflict, it is useful for parents to attend co-parenting classes together. These may be court mandated by the judge or taken voluntarily by the parents.

Co-Parenting has been used in a variety of ways to refer to the degree to which the ex-spouses share the parenting role. These include: joint problem solving skills and joint decision making concerning the child's welfare, low levels of conflict around parenting issues, building communication and trust, and also sharing in joint responsibilities. Programs have reported positive findings such as decreased inter-parental conflict, increased encouragement with other parent's involvement, trust for the other parent's ability to parent the child, and decreased re-litigation. About 80% of judges report that these classes helped parents agree on custody arrangements before coming to court and decreased re-litigation of those who had already been in court.

Continue reading "Divorce & the Effects on Children Part 2" »

San Diego is known for having a vast military community. Among the many military bases in San Diego County are the Marine Corps Air Station Miramar, the Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, the Naval Base Coronado, the Naval Base San Diego, and the Naval Base Point Loma. In fact, the Naval Base San Diego is the largest base of the United States Navy on the west coast. Having a parent in the military can bring out a new set of child custody and visitation complications. It is important to consider possible deployments when creating any parenting plan.

California Family Code section 3047 directly addresses a parent's military obligations, "a party's absence, relocation, or failure to comply with custody and visitation orders shall not, by itself, be sufficient to justify a modification of a custody or visitation order if the reason for the absence, relocation, or failure to comply is the party's activation to military duty...or military deployment out of state." Under this statute, one parent may not use the other's military duties against them in a child custody proceeding. If the sole or joint physical custodian is required to move a substantial distance or is otherwise unable to exercise his or her custodial rights, the court may order a temporary modification in custody. Once the military parent is able to resume his or her custodial duties, the temporary order is subject to review. However, there shall be a presumption that the previous order will resume in place of the temporary modification. This presumption can be overcome if the court finds it is not the best interest of the child.

The best interest of the child is the controlling theme throughout San Diego family law. The court considers a number of factors and makes determinations of custody and visitation. Among the factors the court will consider are:

(1) The health safety and welfare of the child;
(2) Any history of domestic violence;
(3) The nature and amount of contact the child has with both parties; and
(4) The use of drugs or alcohol by either party.

These factors will be carefully weighed by the judge against the presumption that the custody order shall revert to the order in place prior to the modification. In a recent San Diego custody case, these two considerations were not aligned making a tough decision for the family court judge. In this particular case, the mother was deployed out of the country for the period of two years. At the time of her deployment, her son was five years old and she was his primary caretaker. The child resided with the mother primarily and had weekend visitations with the father. Upon learning of the deployment, the parents agreed to a temporary parenting plan. Father would become the primary caretaker and the child would reside with him with video chat visitations to mother. It is important to note that the parties agreed, upon mother's return, the child would resume living with her and the temporary modification would no longer be in place.

Upon the mother's return from deployment, the father had relocated to and refused to permit the child to reside with her. He argued that the child was now settled living with the father, had made friends in the neighborhood and with his half-siblings, and was performing well in school and his extracurricular activities. The judge was required to weigh the nature and amount of contact the child had with father on a daily basis and with mother infrequently against the military presumption. The mother cited California Family Code section 3047 in her argument but the judge was not persuaded. Upon serious consideration, the judge granted mother reasonable visitation but ordered that the child continue to reside with father. Mother's attorney argued that the judge in this case completely ignored the code section put in place to preserve the parental rights of military parents and ruled contrary to the legislative intent behind the provision.

Please contact us if you have questions regarding custody and visitation. Nancy J. Bickford is the only attorney in San Diego County representing clients in divorces, who is a Certified Family Law Specialist (CFLS) and who is actively licensed as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). Don't settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.

Nearly one million children are affected by divorce each year. Parents and families struggle to help children who are experiencing negative effects after their parent's divorce. Psychological and sociological research is widespread with evidence of the detrimental effects that divorce can have upon children after separation. Research has shown that, on average, children from divorcing families more frequently experience behavioral and adjustment difficulties during later childhood, adolescence, and even into adulthood. Children have been shown to exhibit a wide variety of responses to divorce and other family changes; frequently these responses include anger, a sense of loss, betrayal, shame, embarrassment, depression, loyalty conflicts, and guilt.

With about half of all marriages ending in divorce, many children may experience a difficult time adjusting. Studies show that the detrimental effects that parents' divorces may have on their children include: depression, aggression, anti-social and/or self destructive behavior and diminished academic performance. Researchers have identified three factors as the most important predicators of negative effects on children of divorce: 1) instability in the child's life, 2) the absence of effective parenting, and 3) interparental conflict.

Instability

Divorce can be extremely emotional for everyone involved; however, it is important to maintain stability in a child's life. The more stable you can keep the child's life, the better adjusted they will be after their parents get divorced. Stability means maintaining regular contact with the other parent by getting child custody and visitation orders in place. You also want to surround yourself with relatives and friends during this hard time. Stability also means following a familiar day to day routine with the child. This is often challenging because the routine is going to change for the child after the parent's get divorced. A minimum number of transitions after divorce are the most beneficial for the children. If possible, keeping the children in the same school, home or neighborhood, always helps the child relate to some stability. Instability can leave a child feeling confused, alone, and at fault for the divorce.

Ineffective parenting

Parents who are unaware of the effects divorce can have on children or have had on their particular child cannot help them through it. Some parents may not know how to help their children cope or even ways to deal with the divorce themselves. Others may be unaware of resources in their community such as parenting classes and family counseling. It is important for parents to get educated about the effects divorce may have on children and get help for themselves if need be. That way the parents are equip to help a child who is experiencing a difficult time, because ineffective parenting can leave children feeling lonely, hurt, and unloved.

Continue reading "Divorce & the Effects on Children (Part 1)" »

Under California family law statutes, paternity can be established in a number of ways depending on the relationship between the father and mother. Through the combination of statute-mandated presumptions and DNA testing, determinations regarding paternity made by the court can have a significant impact on child custody and child support.

An unmarried father must sign a paternity declaration in order for his name to appear on a child's birth certificate. The paternity declaration is significant because it creates both support obligations and parental rights for the father. In San Diego, there is a rebuttable presumption that a man who accepts a child into his home and openly holds that child out to be his own is the child's biological father. This presumption is rebuttable through the use of blood tests to determine paternity. If no blood tests are conducted and introduced into paternity proceedings, the man is presumed to be the child's father.

A child conceived during a martial relationship in which the wife is cohabitating with the husband is presumed to be a child of the marriage. In other words, the mother's husband is presumptively the child's father. If the husband is sterile or impotent, the marital presumption will not apply. This presumption may be overcome through the use of blood or DNA testing to determine paternity. The presumed father must petition for court-ordered blood testing within two years of the child's birth. Therefore, unless a motion is filed within the two-year statute of limitations and blood testing establishes the husband is not the father, the mother's husband is conclusively presumed to be the father. The presumption will still apply even if another man is proven to be the biological father of the child.

The marital and non-marital paternity presumptions can have harsh consequences regarding a father's parental rights. Considering that the husband of a child's mother is presumed to be the child's father and that in non-marital relationships a man must live with and hold a child out to be his own in order to be presumed the father, a child conceived out of an affair can create a devastating situation for the biological father. In a California family law case, Dawn D. v. Jerry K. (1998) 17 Cal.4th 932, this scenario became a reality. In this case, Dawn D. intended to divorce her husband when she began living with another man named Jerry K. Shortly after moving in with Jerry K. Dawn D. became pregnant. Just three months into her pregnancy, Dawn D. returned to her husband and rekindled their marriage. As a result of this case, the biological father, Jerry K. was unable to assert his parental rights to his child.

The paternity presumptions can have surprising consequences in terms of child support obligations as well. A presumed father is obligated to pay child support where support is ordered. If a presumed father makes child support payments for the child's minority and later learns he is not the biological father, he has no recourse for the 18 years of child support payments made. Further, if a presumed father conclusively proves through DNA testing that he is not the biological father of a child BUT has missed the two-year statute of limitations, he will be on the hook for child support payments for the remainder of the child's minority.

California family law cases operate under the best interest of the child standard. Most family court rulings attempt to further that interest as the paramount concern. Many argue that paternity presumptions are outdated, unnecessary and detrimental to the best interest of the child. Because science has advanced and paternity can be determined so accurately and efficiently, these advocates contend that DNA testing should be conducted in each paternity case in order to ensure the child's biological father is shouldered with the responsibilities and is able to enjoy his parental rights.

Please contact us if you are considering a divorce from your spouse, a legal separation, or have questions regarding custody and/or paternity. San Diego Family Law Attorney Nancy J. Bickford is the only board-certified divorce lawyer representing clients in San Diego who also holds an MBA and a CPA. Don't settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.

Recently, in Corpus Christi, Texas two grandmothers were awarded custody of their one-year-old granddaughter, Gabby. The child's mother, Victoria Valdez, was only 16-years-old when she tragically died from severe head injuries caused by a car accident on New Year's Day. The child's 18-year-old father, Gabriel Padron, was driving the car when the accident occurred and is suspected of driving under the influence of alcohol. Although he admits to drinking prior to the crash, he denies being drunk while driving his vehicle. No arrest has been made and charges have yet to be filed; however, he has been accused of intoxication manslaughter. Toxicology results are still pending.

During the custody case, Gabby's aunt testified that Padron was a dangerous domestic violence perpetrator and was unsafe for Gabby to be around. Valdez's sister further testified that the victim refused to leave Padron out of fear. During the trial, witnesses testified about both grandparents' role in Gabby's life prior to the accident and what accommodations Gabby would have in their custody. These witnesses described the baby's room, clothes, crib, and toys in each home. As part of a temporary custody agreement, the paternal and maternal grandmothers will share custody and Gabby will continue to reside with her paternal grandmother who cared for her immediately following the accident. Gabby's father was only given weekend visitation.

In San Diego, generally, following the death of a custodial parent, the surviving parent is entitled to sole legal custody. However, other relatives such as aunts, uncles, or grandparents may fight to obtain custody of the child. These relatives may file a guardianship or dependency action, or in the case of grandparents, a motion for grandparent visitation. If the relatives are successful in showing it is not in the child's best interest to remain with the surviving parent, they may be awarded custody. In the Texas case, family members testified about the father's violent behavior and suspected drunk driving and eventually were granted temporary custody of the minor child.

Under California Family Code section 3104, a grandparent of a minor child may petition the court for visitation rights. The court may grant reasonable visitation if the court does the following: (1) finds that a grandparent-grandchild relationship existed prior to the action and that it is in the best interest of the child to visit with the grandparent, and (2) carefully balances the parent's right to exercise his or her authority and deny visitation against the interest of the child in having visitation with the grandparent. It is important to note that this type of petition may not be filed while the grandchild's parents are married unless one or more of the following exceptions apply:

(1) The parents are living separate and apart on a permanent or indefinite basis;
(2) One parent has been missing for more than one month and the other parent has no knowledge of his or her whereabouts;
(3) One of the parents joins the grandparent in his or her petition;
(4) The child is not currently living with either parent; or
(5) A stepparent has adopted the child.

Grandparents may have an uphill battle convincing the court it is in the child's best interest for the grandparent to have visitation. In California, there is a rebuttable presumption that grandparent visitation is not in the child's best interest if the parents agree that visitation rights should not be granted.

Please contact us if you questions regarding child custody, visitation or support. San Diego Family Law Attorney Nancy J. Bickford is the only board-certified divorce lawyer in San Diego representing clients who also holds an MBA and a CPA. Don't settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.

After a long and embarrassingly public divorce, Beverly Hills Housewife Camille and Broadway star Kelsey Grammer reportedly end their custody battle. The couple shares two children: Jude, 7 years old, and Mason, 10 years old. It seems that Camille will have physical custody of the children since their primary residence will be with her. Kelsey will reportedly have "meaningful contact" with the children. After a 13-year marriage it appears both stars have moved on. Kelsey remarried within two weeks of finalizing his divorce. He and his new wife are expecting twins. According to Camille's statements on her show the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" , she is also happily in a relationship with lawyer Dimitri Charalambopoulos.

Camille filed for divorce on July 1, 2010 after learning of Kelsey's affair with a stewardess, Kayte Walsh. Kelsey was able to marry his new wife Kayte Walsh before settling all aspects of his divorce with Camille through the bifurcation process. In order to accomplish this, Kelsey asked the judge to grant a divorce decree while suspending the division of the large and complex marital estate. The estate is estimated to be worth $120 million dollars and because the couple did not have a prenuptial agreement, Camille demanded $50 million.

In San Diego, the court will agree to bifurcate a divorce case. States like New York, Texas, Arizona, and Michigan only bifurcate cases in exceptional circumstances. California is part of a minority of states that bifurcate divorce cases for almost any reason. To bifurcate a case is to split it into two parts. Generally, as in the Grammer divorce, the first issue to be litigated is marital status. By resolving marital status, each spouse becomes divorced and therefore single and able to legally remarry. The remaining issues may include disputes over property distribution, child custody and visitation, child support, and alimony.

A party may wish to bifurcate a case in order to remarry like Kelsey or the spouse may be motivated by tax consequences or implications. A person can file his or her taxes "single" as long as his or her marital status was terminated before the end of the year. During a divorce proceeding, the court often makes temporary orders for spousal support. Any spousal support payments are 100% deductible for the payor and must be claimed as income by the payee. This tax consequence is not implicated if the couple decides to file a joint tax return. In other instances, when the divorce is a particularly acrimonious one, bifurcation can prevent one spouse from exerting control over the other's personal life by delaying the ultimate result, divorce.

A bifurcation may be obtained by agreement of the parties. In this case, the parties stipulate that the cause may be tried as an uncontested matter. Because a divorce can take many months or even years to proceed through the California family court system, many parties seek to bifurcate their case in order to obtain some degree of finality. They will be legally divorced and able to move on with their lives while in the process of litigating other matters. Not surprisingly, Camille opposed Kelsey's motion to bifurcate the divorce proceedings. Although many speculated that Camille was simply acting as a woman scorned, she was also concerned that legally divorcing Kelsey would leave her with uncertain rights to the marital estate that had yet to be divided.

Please contact us if you are considering a divorce from your spouse, a legal separation, or have questions regarding custody. San Diego Family Law Attorney Nancy J. Bickford is the only board-certified divorce lawyer representing clients in San Diego who also holds an MBA and a CPA. Don't settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.

We have blogged several times about the potential problems that Facebook and other social media sites can have on a divorce. The same potential for problems also applies to the text messages you send. Although it is sometimes difficult to get text messages into evidence (meaning properly in front of a judge), once the text message is in evidence, it could change the outcome of your case!

Unlike Facebook and other social media posts, text messages cannot be deleted or recalled. Any text that you send to your spouse, or even to a third party, can end up being used against you in a divorce. With phones now having up to 64 gigabytes of storage, or more, texts from many years ago could end up being presented as evidence to the judge in your divorce case.

• If you threaten to harm your spouse in a text, that may be the basis for a restraining order, or even criminal prosecution.

• If you call your spouse names in texts, the judge could end up with an unfavorable opinion of you.

• If you say one thing in your declaration (such as, "I do not use drugs") and text something contrary to your spouse or a third party (such as, "I can't believe how stoned I was at the party"), you will ruin your credibility with the judge.

In a recent story on NPR, Ken Altshuler, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, provided the following tips for keeping your texts out of court, upon which I elaborate:

• Do not text your spouse anything that you would not want a judge to see. This also applies to Facebook and other social media posts, messages or comments, emails, and even voice mail messages. It is always best to assume that any text, anything you write or any voice message you leave for your spouse will end up in front of your judge. Some examples of what not to post, blog or text about can be found here.

• If your spouse or former spouse sends you an inappropriate text, do not respond in kind because a judge will see that. The judge usually does not care who started an inappropriate exchange because the exchange is usually just a small part of the bigger picture. In one of my cases after reviewing hateful emails back and forth between the parties, the judge (slightly misquoting Mercutio's famous line from Shakespeare's Romeo and Julie), said "A pox on both your houses." When the other party blurted out, "She started it!" the judge replied, "Sir, two wrongs do not make a right - and your emails back to here were totally inappropriate, no matter who started it."

• Do not send messages that set your spouse up for an inappropriate or angry response. On the other hand, some Judges will look into who started it. You do not want your judge to find that you were the party that started it, or someone who is baiting the other side. This could ruin your credibility with the judge for the rest of your case.

• If you are worked up and want to send your spouse a message, take time to calm down before putting anything in writing. Again, if it is in writing, you must assume that your judge will eventually read it. If you are unsure about a written response to your spouse, send it to your attorney for review before sending it to your spouse.

Always remember, do not text anything to anyone that you would want the family law judge in your case to see or read.

Continue reading "Texting Can have a BIG Impact on your Divorce Case" »

It is surprising to think that, in California, a parent can be arrested and criminally prosecuted for kidnapping his or her own child. This surprising truth became all too real for a Twin Falls woman who was charged with custodial interference in Idaho. In the recent case, Stefanie Contreras pleaded guilty to abducting her own 4-year-old son. Contreras entered the father's home with three others intending to take her son from father's custody. To follow up with Contreras' case, stay tuned for her sentencing hearing, which is scheduled to occur on March 26, 2012. Few San Diego residents are aware that they can be found guilty of abduction for moving their own children outside of California. If you are considering taking your child outside of San Diego or California it is important to consult the other parent involved.

There are many misconceptions about what is required to charge an individual with kidnapping. A stranger to the child is not necessarily the only person who can kidnap a child. If a parent disobeys a custody or visitation arrangement he or she may be arrested for kidnapping. Whether the parent has sole legal custody, meaning the exclusive right to made decisions regarding the child's health, safety, or wellbeing, is irrelevant. Under California law, if the parent takes, entices away, keeps, withholds, or conceals his or her own child intending to deprive the other parent of his or her lawful visitation or custodial rights, he or she can be prosecuted for kidnapping. It is important to note that a parent can be charged with kidnapping regardless of whether there is a formal court order regarding custody and visitation.

Although child custody and visitation orders originate in the family court system, kidnapping is a criminal charge and may result in a criminal record and/or incarceration. For example, under California Penal Code section 278, any person found guilty of kidnapping shall be punished by imprisonment in a county jail for up to a year, a fine not exceeding $1,000 or both. Sentences and fines may vary depending on whether the parent is prosecuted for a felony or misdemeanor.

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In San Diego County an estimated one out of four children is exposed to domestic violence either as a victim or a witness. According to the San Diego Domestic Violence Council over 500 women and children need to stay in a shelter each day. In a relationship that involves a history of domestic violence, if a partner decides to leave, he or she will have many questions about how that history can impact a child custody case.

Understanding what constitutes domestic violence can be complex. Under California Family Code section 6211, domestic violence is defined as abuse perpetrated against specific categories of family members. Mental health professionals agree that domestic violence is a pattern of behavior characterized by an abusers attempt to control his or her victim through the use of a variety of techniques.

In a case that does not involve domestic violence, the court decides the outcome of a custody case based on the best interest of the child. The court considers a variety of factors such as:

1. The health safety, and welfare of the child
2. Any history of abuse by one parent
3. The nature and amount of contact with both parents
4. Habitual or continual illegal drug or alcohol abuse by either parent

There is a prevalent belief in society that when a couple separates, it is in the best interest of the child to have the most extensive relationship possible with both parents. This assumption is true in a typical separation. However, a separation involving domestic violence is not a typical separation. Family Court judges have many options to consider when deciding which parent, or combination of parents, will make decisions on behalf of a child and take care of that child. If a parent has sole legal custody, he or she has the exclusive right and responsibility to make decisions for the child regarding his or her health, education and welfare. If a parent has sole physical custody, the child will live with that parent subject to the visitation rights of the other. Any joint custody arrangement involves the sharing of these rights and responsibilities.

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Many of our San Diego Family Law client's use Facebook and other social network or dating webpages. This is not surprising considering that Facebook alone has more than 800 million active users. More than 50% of those active users log on to Facebook everyday and on average more than 250 million photos are uploaded per day. Almost every social network and dating website can be accessed by a cell phone or tablet.

We have previously blogged about the use of information from social network and dating websites in divorce cases. We have also previously cautioned readers of our blog (as well as our clients) regarding what not to post on Facebook and other social network and dating sites while going though a divorce. This includes NOT posting wild pictures of yourself, NOT tweeting about job woes or problems with the kids and NOT posting about drug and alcohol use. It is also important to adjust your privacy settings. In other words, do not post anything to a social network or dating website that you would want your former spouse, children or the family law judge in your case to see or read.

Recently, there have been some interesting and seemingly conflicting orders regarding requests for Facebook or other social network or dating website information.

In one case reported by the ABA Journal, a judge in a Connecticut divorce case ordered the parties' attorneys to exchange their clients' Facebook and dating websites passwords. Although the order stated that the parties themselves would not be given the passwords of the other, the order also stated for neither party to visit the other party's social network website and post messages purporting to be the other. You can imagine what one party must have posted on the other party's social network for that order to be made.

However, in another recent personal injury case involving an accident from 1993 in which the insurance companies denial of benefits did not question Plaintiff's limitations or need for care, the insurance company still sought, through discovery, the Plaintiff's Facebook password, a list of his Facebook friends, along with other Facebook activity and information including, all photographs, messages, status posts, wall posts, comments, groups, and group memberships. When the Plaintiff refused to provide the information, the insurance company filed a Motion to Compel to force the Plaintiff to provide the information. Fortunately for the Plaintiff, the court denied the Motion to Compel on the grounds that the Facebook information was not relevant or likely to make any disputed fact more or less likely, despite the insurance company's argument that Plaintiff's Facebook posts would likely contain information about the Plaintiff's daily activities and thoughts. The court found that any possible relevant information which could be gleaned through the Plaintiff's Facebook information would also be available to the insurance company through less intrusive, less annoying and less speculative means. The court characterized the insurance company's request for Facebook information as a fishing expedition at best and harassment at worst.

However, unlike in most civil cases, the information contained on a social networks and dating websites is often very relevant in family law cases, particularly to the issues of custody and visitation. It may also be relevant to the issues of property division and fiduciary duties.

In the Connecticut divorce case discussed above, one party was requesting full custody of the children and argued that the Facebook and dating website information was relevant to the other party's ability to take care of their children. Apparently, the Court was persuaded by the argument and ordered the exchange of passwords.

Another interesting argument, that has not yet been determined by the courts, is whether the type of order issued in the Connecticut divorce case is valid or enforceable in light of Facebook's Terms of Use Provisions. Following the Connecticut order would arguably violate the these two Terms of Use Provisions:

1) You will not solicit login information or access an account belonging to someone else. and;

2) You will not share your password, (or in the case of developers, your secret key), let anyone else access your account, or do anything else that might jeopardize the security of your account.

As long as social networks and dating websites continue to be popular, we anticipate that requests for information and pictures from them will become more and more frequent in divorce cases.

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Shh. Big Brother is Watching!

Do you use Facebook, Twitter or other social media? If so, and you have filed for divorce in San Diego, you need to be aware that your posts, tweets and pictures may end up being entered as evidence in a court of law.

San Diego divorce lawyers are seeing many more cases involving social media. In just a few short years, this technology has become so pervasive that a California divorce lawyer would be remiss for not seeing what public information is available about a client's former spouse online. Whether as a source of information or evidence in a pending family law action, or the actual impetus for the divorce itself, social media has arrived on the scene in a big way. Consider the following:

• In March, the U.K's Guardian reported that social networking sites are becoming a primary source of evidence in divorce proceedings. The article even blames Facebook for connecting old flames and causing marital problems.

• A survey last year by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 4 of 5 lawyers had seen an increase in divorce cases involving social media evidence.

• This month's Men's Health features an article detailing Twitter relationships a divorcing party participates in with multiple partners.

Although the Wall Street Journal reports the notion that 1 in 5 divorces are caused by Facebook is a fallacy, there is no doubt social media is a contributing cause in a substantial number of divorces. More and more attorneys are asking to see a spouse's Facebook page as a matter of course.

There have been sociological studies into the issue of why people behave the way they do on social networking sites. These studies reveal that people treat such social technology the way they would a close friend -- and that they confide information in a very public way -- information that is often best left unsaid, particularly if you are in the middle of a contentious divorce or child custody proceeding. For example:

• Posting wild and crazy pictures of you while on vacation is not a good idea. You should simply refrain from posting such pictures.

• Tweeting about job woes or problems with the kids is a bad idea. It is best to keep this information confidential.

• Posting about your alcohol or drug use (especially pictures) is a very, very bad idea. Do not do this under any circumstances.

A good rule of thumb is to not post anything to a social media site that you would want a judge to see. Otherwise, you may end up in the very uncomfortable position of explaining your posts, tweets or pictures to a judge in a court of law.

One more thing to consider is reviewing your friends as well as your privacy settings on Facebook and any other social media sites that you use. Your friends may still be talking to your ex, or to your ex's friends, allowing your ex, and his or her attorney, full access to all of the information you share on your social media sites. An increasing body of evidence continues to suggest this is advice best followed even if you are not in the midst of a divorce.

Your attorney will warn you about social media sites. Whether you heed the warning is up to you. There are few things can torpedo your case like your own words or pictures posted on a social media site for all to see.

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