Once a spouse decides that his or her marriage is over, he or she may want to take steps to prepare for divorce before filing the initial paperwork and/or discussing it with his or her spouse. If you are considering your first divorce just the thought of the overall process can be overwhelming and upsetting. In order to enter the process with greater awareness and information, there are a few things that you can do to prepare for divorce.
Consult with an attorney regarding your state's laws: Each state has specific laws regarding how property will be divided, spousal support, child support, and custody/visitation in the event of a divorce. Many people are unfamiliar with the specific laws of their state and may have misconceptions regarding their rights and options in a divorce. It is important to meet with a certified family law specialist so that you can gather more information about what you can expect in your divorce. Getting an idea of how the process will work and the likely outcomes in your case can ease a great deal of stress and tension.
Become familiar with the different types of child custody: In California there are two types of child custody - legal and physical custody. It is important to understand the differences between these two types of custody and how they relate to each other. Further, there are varying degrees of physical custody and infinite possible custody configurations.
Preventative preparation: One of the biggest jobs for any divorce litigant is helping his or her attorney prepare the mandatory financial disclosure documents. This process can become more difficult if a party no longer has access to the required documents because he or she moved out of the residence, the other spouse took the documents, or the spouse has no direct knowledge of the family finances. Prior to separation, it is advisable to make copies of all financial documents including, but not limited to, bank statements, tax returns, pay stubs, family bills, and title paperwork.
Stay on your best behavior: In preparation for divorce, it is important to refrain from behavior that may reflect badly on you if your matter is heard by a judge. Especially in custody/visitation disputes, poor behavior prior to divorce will reflect on a spouse's parenting abilities.
Begin considering telling the children: If you have decided to get a divorce, it is never too early to begin thinking about and researching possible ways to talk to your children about divorce. It is important to approach this discussion thoughtfully and with great care in order to ensure the child is assured the divorce is not his or her fault.
In any divorce case, emotional preparation can be just as helpful as legal preparation.