Coping with Divorce: You are not alone

It is never easy, no matter what the situation is, to go through a divorce. Thousands of people right here in San Diego go through divorce each year. A divorce can turn your everyday life upside down and make it feel impossible to move forward. You may be experiencing profound emotions of disappointment, stress, and grief; however it is important to remind yourself that you can and will eventually be able to move on, you just have to take it one day at a time.

Here are three strategies to help you cope with your divorce:

Recognize that it is okay to have feelings; don’t fight them. It is normal to feel angry, sad, exhausted, and confused. You may also feel anxious about the future, and uncertain of what happens next. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, it is frightening to think about the unknown. Grief is a natural reaction to loss, it is essential to the healing process. The pain of grief is precisely what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. And no matter how strong your grief, it won’t last forever.

Make sure to reach out for support and talk about your feelings. Although it may be difficult, it is important that you work through your emotions. Knowing that you have others around you who know about your feelings or are going through the same thing will make you feel less alone. Find a support group or surround yourself with close friends and family that can help you through this difficult time. It is normal for us as humans to be afraid to ask for help, but you will be pleasantly surprised when you start to let people in. Try to choose people who are positive and will truly listen to you. It is important that you feel you can be honest without feeling judged or criticized about the way you are feeling.

If reaching out to others does not come naturally, consider seeing a counselor or joining a support group. The important thing is to have at least one person or place that you feel comfortable opening up. Counselors and support groups are there to help you, not pass judgment. It is good to be around others who are going through the same thing, they understand how you are feeling and your story may inspire or help them cope. Make an effort to meet new people, although it’s scary, it will be good for you. Join a club or networking organization; find something that interests you and get involved in the community. It is the beginning of a fresh start for you, and doing things you enjoy can really make a difference in your healing process.

Finally, take care of yourself! Divorce is a highly stressful, life changing event. The strain of a divorce can lead to major health issues if you don’t take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest and exercise. Make sure to eat, and eat right. Try to minimize other sources of stress in your life and if you need to, lessen your workload a bit. Do things that help you relax; whether it be listening to music, meditation, walking outside, getting a massage, reading a book, or enjoying a day at the beach. Pay attention to what you need, and ask friends and family to help out with chores or activities for you. Try to stick to a regular routine, it will be comforting and provide a sense of normalcy in your life; try to explore new interests. And most importantly avoid using alcohol, drugs, or food to help you cope. This can be very dangerous to your health and have a major setback on your recovery.

In times of emotional crisis, there is an opportunity to grow and learn. Take this as a chance to get to know yourself better and emerge into the person you were meant to be. Set goals for yourself and think about what you want for the future. No one said it is going to be easy; all you need to focus on is that it’s possible.

At the Law Offices of Nancy Bickford, we are here for you. We care about you and want to help you cope through this difficult process. Our attorneys are compassionate and sensitive to the fact that you are going through a tough time in your life. Let us help you! We offer legal representation on all divorce matters such as child custody and visitation, child support, spousal support, and property division. Call 858-793-8884 to schedule a consultation with a Certified Family Law Specialist today. We look forward to working with you.