In the first week of April, news broke that Drew Barrymore will be seeking a divorce from her third husband, Will Kopelman, after a marriage lasting just under four years. The couple has two children together, 3-year-old Olive and almost 2-year-old Frankie.
In light of the statistics, this news doesn’t seem too shocking. Surely we are all pretty familiar with the statistic that about 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. It is a bit less widely recognized that for each time a person gets remarried, the higher their chances of divorcing become. Past statistics from the US Census bureau have showed that 60 percent of second marriages end and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.
These statistics lead to the question: What causes the increased divorce rates for re-marriages? It seems a bit counter-intuitive, because you would think (or at least I did) that when someone has been through a divorce and chooses to get remarried, they would enter the union with more caution, looking out for the things that they failed to consider the first time they were married…making a more “informed decision” so-to-speak.
In an interview on the “Today” show, psychiatrist Gail Saltz suggested the contrary; that people who have already been married and then divorced are somewhat de-sensitized to the idea, and more likely to divorce as the solution when things start going wrong in their next marriage. She asserted that people who have been divorced are more likely to jump into another marriage because they are lonely and scared, all before they have taken the time to fix the problems that made their prior marriage fail in the first place.
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The lesson here? When getting remarried, enter with caution. Don’t take these statistics to mean that your next marriage is doomed, but rather as a lesson about what has happened to other people in your shoes. This may just mean taking a step back and recognizing the issues that need to be worked through before you jump into another marriage. Look within yourself to make sure that you are entering the union for the right reasons and that you are prepared to handle the new challenges that marriage can present.
Regardless of the number of times you have been married, having competent and experienced legal counsel at your side can make a world of difference when going through a divorce. Please contact us if you are considering a divorce from your spouse, a legal separation, or have questions regarding child custody and visitation. Nancy J. Bickford is the only Certified Family Law Specialist (CFLS) in San Diego County who is also a licensed Certified Public Accountant (CPA) with a Master of Business Administration (MBA). Don’t settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.