Articles Posted in Custody and Visitation

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San Diego is known for having a vast military community. Among the many military bases in San Diego County are the Marine Corps Air Station Miramar, the Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, the Naval Base Coronado, the Naval Base San Diego, and the Naval Base Point Loma. In fact, the Naval Base San Diego is the largest base of the United States Navy on the west coast. Having a parent in the military can bring out a new set of child custody and visitation complications. It is important to consider possible deployments when creating any parenting plan.California Family Code section 3047 directly addresses a parent’s military obligations, “a party’s absence, relocation, or failure to comply with custody and visitation orders shall not, by itself, be sufficient to justify a modification of a custody or visitation order if the reason for the absence, relocation, or failure to comply is the party’s activation to military duty…or military deployment out of state.” Under this statute, one parent may not use the other’s military duties against them in a child custody proceeding. If the sole or joint physical custodian is required to move a substantial distance or is otherwise unable to exercise his or her custodial rights, the court may order a temporary modification in custody. Once the military parent is able to resume his or her custodial duties, the temporary order is subject to review. However, there shall be a presumption that the previous order will resume in place of the temporary modification. This presumption can be overcome if the court finds it is not the best interest of the child.

The best interest of the child is the controlling theme throughout San Diego family law. The court considers a number of factors and makes determinations of custody and visitation. Among the factors the court will consider are:

(1) The health safety and welfare of the child;

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Nearly one million children are affected by divorce each year. Parents and families struggle to help children who are experiencing negative effects after their parent’s divorce. Psychological and sociological research is widespread with evidence of the detrimental effects that divorce can have upon children after separation. Research has shown that, on average, children from divorcing families more frequently experience behavioral and adjustment difficulties during later childhood, adolescence, and even into adulthood. Children have been shown to exhibit a wide variety of responses to divorce and other family changes; frequently these responses include anger, a sense of loss, betrayal, shame, embarrassment, depression, loyalty conflicts, and guilt.

With about half of all marriages ending in divorce, many children may experience a difficult time adjusting. Studies show that the detrimental effects that parents’ divorces may have on their children include: depression, aggression, anti-social and/or self destructive behavior and diminished academic performance. Researchers have identified three factors as the most important predicators of negative effects on children of divorce: 1) instability in the child’s life, 2) the absence of effective parenting, and 3) interparental conflict.

Instability

Divorce can be extremely emotional for everyone involved; however, it is important to maintain stability in a child’s life. The more stable you can keep the child’s life, the better adjusted they will be after their parents get divorced. Stability means maintaining regular contact with the other parent by getting child custody and visitation orders in place. You also want to surround yourself with relatives and friends during this hard time. Stability also means following a familiar day to day routine with the child. This is often challenging because the routine is going to change for the child after the parent’s get divorced. A minimum number of transitions after divorce are the most beneficial for the children. If possible, keeping the children in the same school, home or neighborhood, always helps the child relate to some stability. Instability can leave a child feeling confused, alone, and at fault for the divorce.

Ineffective parenting

Parents who are unaware of the effects divorce can have on children or have had on their particular child cannot help them through it. Some parents may not know how to help their children cope or even ways to deal with the divorce themselves. Others may be unaware of resources in their community such as parenting classes and family counseling. It is important for parents to get educated about the effects divorce may have on children and get help for themselves if need be. That way the parents are equip to help a child who is experiencing a difficult time, because ineffective parenting can leave children feeling lonely, hurt, and unloved.
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Under California family law statutes, paternity can be established in a number of ways depending on the relationship between the father and mother. Through the combination of statute-mandated presumptions and DNA testing, determinations regarding paternity made by the court can have a significant impact on child custody and child support.

An unmarried father must sign a paternity declaration in order for his name to appear on a child’s birth certificate. The paternity declaration is significant because it creates both support obligations and parental rights for the father. In San Diego, there is a rebuttable presumption that a man who accepts a child into his home and openly holds that child out to be his own is the child’s biological father. This presumption is rebuttable through the use of blood tests to determine paternity. If no blood tests are conducted and introduced into paternity proceedings, the man is presumed to be the child’s father.

A child conceived during a martial relationship in which the wife is cohabitating with the husband is presumed to be a child of the marriage. In other words, the mother’s husband is presumptively the child’s father. If the husband is sterile or impotent, the marital presumption will not apply. This presumption may be overcome through the use of blood or DNA testing to determine paternity. The presumed father must petition for court-ordered blood testing within two years of the child’s birth. Therefore, unless a motion is filed within the two-year statute of limitations and blood testing establishes the husband is not the father, the mother’s husband is conclusively presumed to be the father. The presumption will still apply even if another man is proven to be the biological father of the child.

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Recently, in Corpus Christi, Texas two grandmothers were awarded custody of their one-year-old granddaughter, Gabby. The child’s mother, Victoria Valdez, was only 16-years-old when she tragically died from severe head injuries caused by a car accident on New Year’s Day. The child’s 18-year-old father, Gabriel Padron, was driving the car when the accident occurred and is suspected of driving under the influence of alcohol. Although he admits to drinking prior to the crash, he denies being drunk while driving his vehicle. No arrest has been made and charges have yet to be filed; however, he has been accused of intoxication manslaughter. Toxicology results are still pending.During the custody case, Gabby’s aunt testified that Padron was a dangerous domestic violence perpetrator and was unsafe for Gabby to be around. Valdez’s sister further testified that the victim refused to leave Padron out of fear. During the trial, witnesses testified about both grandparents’ role in Gabby’s life prior to the accident and what accommodations Gabby would have in their custody. These witnesses described the baby’s room, clothes, crib, and toys in each home. As part of a temporary custody agreement, the paternal and maternal grandmothers will share custody and Gabby will continue to reside with her paternal grandmother who cared for her immediately following the accident. Gabby’s father was only given weekend visitation.

In San Diego, generally, following the death of a custodial parent, the surviving parent is entitled to sole legal custody. However, other relatives such as aunts, uncles, or grandparents may fight to obtain custody of the child. These relatives may file a guardianship or dependency action, or in the case of grandparents, a motion for grandparent visitation. If the relatives are successful in showing it is not in the child’s best interest to remain with the surviving parent, they may be awarded custody. In the Texas case, family members testified about the father’s violent behavior and suspected drunk driving and eventually were granted temporary custody of the minor child.

Under California Family Code section 3104, a grandparent of a minor child may petition the court for visitation rights. The court may grant reasonable visitation if the court does the following: (1) finds that a grandparent-grandchild relationship existed prior to the action and that it is in the best interest of the child to visit with the grandparent, and (2) carefully balances the parent’s right to exercise his or her authority and deny visitation against the interest of the child in having visitation with the grandparent. It is important to note that this type of petition may not be filed while the grandchild’s parents are married unless one or more of the following exceptions apply:

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After a long and embarrassingly public divorce, Beverly Hills Housewife Camille and Broadway star Kelsey Grammer reportedly end their custody battle. The couple shares two children: Jude, 7 years old, and Mason, 10 years old. It seems that Camille will have physical custody of the children since their primary residence will be with her. Kelsey will reportedly have “meaningful contact” with the children. After a 13-year marriage it appears both stars have moved on. Kelsey remarried within two weeks of finalizing his divorce. He and his new wife are expecting twins. According to Camille’s statements on her show the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” , she is also happily in a relationship with lawyer Dimitri Charalambopoulos.

Camille filed for divorce on July 1, 2010 after learning of Kelsey’s affair with a stewardess, Kayte Walsh. Kelsey was able to marry his new wife Kayte Walsh before settling all aspects of his divorce with Camille through the bifurcation process. In order to accomplish this, Kelsey asked the judge to grant a divorce decree while suspending the division of the large and complex marital estate. The estate is estimated to be worth $120 million dollars and because the couple did not have a prenuptial agreement, Camille demanded $50 million.

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We have blogged several times about the potential problems that Facebook and other social media sites can have on a divorce. The same potential for problems also applies to the text messages you send. Although it is sometimes difficult to get text messages into evidence (meaning properly in front of a judge), once the text message is in evidence, it could change the outcome of your case!Unlike Facebook and other social media posts, text messages cannot be deleted or recalled. Any text that you send to your spouse, or even to a third party, can end up being used against you in a divorce. With phones now having up to 64 gigabytes of storage, or more, texts from many years ago could end up being presented as evidence to the judge in your divorce case.

• If you threaten to harm your spouse in a text, that may be the basis for a restraining order, or even criminal prosecution.

• If you call your spouse names in texts, the judge could end up with an unfavorable opinion of you.

• If you say one thing in your declaration (such as, “I do not use drugs”) and text something contrary to your spouse or a third party (such as, “I can’t believe how stoned I was at the party”), you will ruin your credibility with the judge.

In a recent story on NPR, Ken Altshuler, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, provided the following tips for keeping your texts out of court, upon which I elaborate:

• Do not text your spouse anything that you would not want a judge to see. This also applies to Facebook and other social media posts, messages or comments, emails, and even voice mail messages. It is always best to assume that any text, anything you write or any voice message you leave for your spouse will end up in front of your judge. Some examples of what not to post, blog or text about can be found here.

• If your spouse or former spouse sends you an inappropriate text, do not respond in kind because a judge will see that. The judge usually does not care who started an inappropriate exchange because the exchange is usually just a small part of the bigger picture. In one of my cases after reviewing hateful emails back and forth between the parties, the judge (slightly misquoting Mercutio’s famous line from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Julie), said “A pox on both your houses.” When the other party blurted out, “She started it!” the judge replied, “Sir, two wrongs do not make a right – and your emails back to here were totally inappropriate, no matter who started it.”

• Do not send messages that set your spouse up for an inappropriate or angry response. On the other hand, some Judges will look into who started it. You do not want your judge to find that you were the party that started it, or someone who is baiting the other side. This could ruin your credibility with the judge for the rest of your case.

• If you are worked up and want to send your spouse a message, take time to calm down before putting anything in writing. Again, if it is in writing, you must assume that your judge will eventually read it. If you are unsure about a written response to your spouse, send it to your attorney for review before sending it to your spouse.

Always remember, do not text anything to anyone that you would want the family law judge in your case to see or read.
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It is surprising to think that, in California, a parent can be arrested and criminally prosecuted for kidnapping his or her own child. This surprising truth became all too real for a Twin Falls woman who was charged with custodial interference in Idaho. In the recent case, Stefanie Contreras pleaded guilty to abducting her own 4-year-old son. Contreras entered the father’s home with three others intending to take her son from father’s custody. To follow up with Contreras’ case, stay tuned for her sentencing hearing, which is scheduled to occur on March 26, 2012. Few San Diego residents are aware that they can be found guilty of abduction for moving their own children outside of California. If you are considering taking your child outside of San Diego or California it is important to consult the other parent involved.

There are many misconceptions about what is required to charge an individual with kidnapping. A stranger to the child is not necessarily the only person who can kidnap a child. If a parent disobeys a custody or visitation arrangement he or she may be arrested for kidnapping. Whether the parent has sole legal custody, meaning the exclusive right to made decisions regarding the child’s health, safety, or wellbeing, is irrelevant. Under California law, if the parent takes, entices away, keeps, withholds, or conceals his or her own child intending to deprive the other parent of his or her lawful visitation or custodial rights, he or she can be prosecuted for kidnapping. It is important to note that a parent can be charged with kidnapping regardless of whether there is a formal court order regarding custody and visitation.

Although child custody and visitation orders originate in the family court system, kidnapping is a criminal charge and may result in a criminal record and/or incarceration. For example, under California Penal Code section 278, any person found guilty of kidnapping shall be punished by imprisonment in a county jail for up to a year, a fine not exceeding $1,000 or both. Sentences and fines may vary depending on whether the parent is prosecuted for a felony or misdemeanor.
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In San Diego County an estimated one out of four children is exposed to domestic violence either as a victim or a witness. According to the San Diego Domestic Violence Council over 500 women and children need to stay in a shelter each day. In a relationship that involves a history of domestic violence, if a partner decides to leave, he or she will have many questions about how that history can impact a child custody case.

Understanding what constitutes domestic violence can be complex. Under California Family Code section 6211, domestic violence is defined as abuse perpetrated against specific categories of family members. Mental health professionals agree that domestic violence is a pattern of behavior characterized by an abusers attempt to control his or her victim through the use of a variety of techniques.

In a case that does not involve domestic violence, the court decides the outcome of a custody case based on the best interest of the child. The court considers a variety of factors such as:

1. The health safety, and welfare of the child 2. Any history of abuse by one parent
3. The nature and amount of contact with both parents 4. Habitual or continual illegal drug or alcohol abuse by either parent
There is a prevalent belief in society that when a couple separates, it is in the best interest of the child to have the most extensive relationship possible with both parents. This assumption is true in a typical separation. However, a separation involving domestic violence is not a typical separation. Family Court judges have many options to consider when deciding which parent, or combination of parents, will make decisions on behalf of a child and take care of that child. If a parent has sole legal custody, he or she has the exclusive right and responsibility to make decisions for the child regarding his or her health, education and welfare. If a parent has sole physical custody, the child will live with that parent subject to the visitation rights of the other. Any joint custody arrangement involves the sharing of these rights and responsibilities.
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Many of our San Diego Family Law client’s use Facebook and other social network or dating webpages. This is not surprising considering that Facebook alone has more than 800 million active users. More than 50% of those active users log on to Facebook everyday and on average more than 250 million photos are uploaded per day. Almost every social network and dating website can be accessed by a cell phone or tablet.We have previously blogged about the use of information from social network and dating websites in divorce cases. We have also previously cautioned readers of our blog (as well as our clients) regarding what not to post on Facebook and other social network and dating sites while going though a divorce. This includes NOT posting wild pictures of yourself, NOT tweeting about job woes or problems with the kids and NOT posting about drug and alcohol use. It is also important to adjust your privacy settings. In other words, do not post anything to a social network or dating website that you would want your former spouse, children or the family law judge in your case to see or read.

Recently, there have been some interesting and seemingly conflicting orders regarding requests for Facebook or other social network or dating website information.

In one case reported by the ABA Journal, a judge in a Connecticut divorce case ordered the parties’ attorneys to exchange their clients’ Facebook and dating websites passwords. Although the order stated that the parties themselves would not be given the passwords of the other, the order also stated for neither party to visit the other party’s social network website and post messages purporting to be the other. You can imagine what one party must have posted on the other party’s social network for that order to be made.

However, in another recent personal injury case involving an accident from 1993 in which the insurance companies denial of benefits did not question Plaintiff’s limitations or need for care, the insurance company still sought, through discovery, the Plaintiff’s Facebook password, a list of his Facebook friends, along with other Facebook activity and information including, all photographs, messages, status posts, wall posts, comments, groups, and group memberships. When the Plaintiff refused to provide the information, the insurance company filed a Motion to Compel to force the Plaintiff to provide the information. Fortunately for the Plaintiff, the court denied the Motion to Compel on the grounds that the Facebook information was not relevant or likely to make any disputed fact more or less likely, despite the insurance company’s argument that Plaintiff’s Facebook posts would likely contain information about the Plaintiff’s daily activities and thoughts. The court found that any possible relevant information which could be gleaned through the Plaintiff’s Facebook information would also be available to the insurance company through less intrusive, less annoying and less speculative means. The court characterized the insurance company’s request for Facebook information as a fishing expedition at best and harassment at worst.

However, unlike in most civil cases, the information contained on a social networks and dating websites is often very relevant in family law cases, particularly to the issues of custody and visitation. It may also be relevant to the issues of property division and fiduciary duties.

In the Connecticut divorce case discussed above, one party was requesting full custody of the children and argued that the Facebook and dating website information was relevant to the other party’s ability to take care of their children. Apparently, the Court was persuaded by the argument and ordered the exchange of passwords.

Another interesting argument, that has not yet been determined by the courts, is whether the type of order issued in the Connecticut divorce case is valid or enforceable in light of Facebook’s Terms of Use Provisions. Following the Connecticut order would arguably violate the these two Terms of Use Provisions:

1) You will not solicit login information or access an account belonging to someone else. and;

2) You will not share your password, (or in the case of developers, your secret key), let anyone else access your account, or do anything else that might jeopardize the security of your account.

As long as social networks and dating websites continue to be popular, we anticipate that requests for information and pictures from them will become more and more frequent in divorce cases.
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Shh. Big Brother is Watching!

Do you use Facebook, Twitter or other social media? If so, and you have filed for divorce in San Diego, you need to be aware that your posts, tweets and pictures may end up being entered as evidence in a court of law.San Diego divorce lawyers are seeing many more cases involving social media. In just a few short years, this technology has become so pervasive that a California divorce lawyer would be remiss for not seeing what public information is available about a client’s former spouse online. Whether as a source of information or evidence in a pending family law action, or the actual impetus for the divorce itself, social media has arrived on the scene in a big way. Consider the following:

  • In March, the U.K’s Guardian reported that social networking sites are becoming a primary source of evidence in divorce proceedings. The article even blames Facebook for connecting old flames and causing marital problems.
  • A survey last year by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 4 of 5 lawyers had seen an increase in divorce cases involving social media evidence.
  • This month’s Men’s Health features an article detailing Twitter relationships a divorcing party participates in with multiple partners.

Although the Wall Street Journal reports the notion that 1 in 5 divorces are caused by Facebook is a fallacy, there is no doubt social media is a contributing cause in a substantial number of divorces. More and more attorneys are asking to see a spouse’s Facebook page as a matter of course.

There have been sociological studies into the issue of why people behave the way they do on social networking sites. These studies reveal that people treat such social technology the way they would a close friend — and that they confide information in a very public way — information that is often best left unsaid, particularly if you are in the middle of a contentious divorce or child custody proceeding. For example:

  • Posting wild and crazy pictures of you while on vacation is not a good idea. You should simply refrain from posting such pictures.
  • Tweeting about job woes or problems with the kids is a bad idea. It is best to keep this information confidential.
  • Posting about your alcohol or drug use (especially pictures) is a very, very bad idea. Do not do this under any circumstances.

A good rule of thumb is to not post anything to a social media site that you would want a judge to see. Otherwise, you may end up in the very uncomfortable position of explaining your posts, tweets or pictures to a judge in a court of law.

One more thing to consider is reviewing your friends as well as your privacy settings on Facebook and any other social media sites that you use. Your friends may still be talking to your ex, or to your ex’s friends, allowing your ex, and his or her attorney, full access to all of the information you share on your social media sites. An increasing body of evidence continues to suggest this is advice best followed even if you are not in the midst of a divorce.

Your attorney will warn you about social media sites. Whether you heed the warning is up to you. There are few things can torpedo your case like your own words or pictures posted on a social media site for all to see.
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