Safety Tips When Divorcing an Abusive Spouse in California

Leaving an abusive spouse through divorce represents one of life’s most challenging and hazardous decisions. Any type of abuse becomes more dangerous when the victim decides to leave the abusive situation. California provides legal protections and resources that assist individuals in navigating this process with maximum safety. Below are some safety tips when divorcing an abusive spouse in California.

Types and Signs of Abuse

Abuse can take many forms, and it is not always physical. Knowing and recognizing the types and signs of abuse can help you know if you are in a dangerous situation.

• Physical abuse. This is arguably the most obvious form of abuse, which manifests as hitting, shoving, slapping, or any other form of physical contact that is unwanted and instills fear.
• Emotional abuse. This can include insults, humiliation, manipulation, gaslighting, controlling behavior, and forced isolation.
• Financial abuse. This abuse involves controlling and limiting financial resources, preventing you from working to have complete control over finances, sabotaging new career opportunities, stealing money, increasing debt in your name, lying about finances, or withholding financial information.
• Sexual abuse. Sexual abuse involves non-consensual sexual acts, including rape, sex by coercion, sexual blackmail, or sabotaging birth control.
• Stalking. Stalking is abusive and includes the repeated unwanted contact of one person to another either at home, work, or digitally (through repeated calls and text messages).
• Technological control. This includes using technology as a means to control, such as using GPS to track your every move, monitoring technology usage without consent, or demanding access to social media accounts.

Develop a Safety Plan First

Before you do anything, have a safety plan in place. A secure location should be established before initiating any legal steps. It could include a friend’s residence or a domestic violence shelter. Maintain a list of emergency contacts, which should include trusted friends, domestic violence hotlines, and legal advocates.

Assemble an emergency bag containing essential documents and items, including birth certificates, Social Security cards, your marriage certificate, tax returns, financial records, cash, credit cards, medications, and an extra set of keys.

Seek a Domestic Violence Restraining Order

Domestic Violence Restraining Orders in California give victims a legal means to stop abusive spouses from making contact or approaching them while also enabling temporary child custody arrangements and forcing the abuser to leave a shared residence.

The Domestic Violence Restraining Order includes provisions that prevent the offender from contacting or harassing the protected people and having a firearm. To obtain a restraining order, victims must submit the necessary court forms. Law enforcement officers can issue Emergency Protective Orders (EPOs) that become active right away and remain valid for up to seven days to provide victims with time to apply for a more permanent order in court.

Secure Your Finances

Abusers control their victims by limiting their financial access. Protect yourself by collecting all essential documents and keeping them secure in a safe place or with someone you trust. Establish a new bank account with another financial institution and start moving small sums discreetly when feasible. In the event that you anticipate financial retaliation, seek legal advice for freezing joint accounts or securing a court order to block unauthorized access to funds.

In addition to finances, you want to secure your digital resources as well. Update your email and bank account passwords along with social media credentials, and turn off location sharing on phones, vehicles, and any shared applications. A prepaid phone can provide confidential communication options if you think your spouse is monitoring your actions.

Contact an Attorney

If you’re divorcing an abusive spouse, you need the assistance of a skilled family law attorney. Family lawyers in California can help you file for divorce under the state’s no-fault divorce laws that permit marriage dissolution on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. The attorney can assist with obtaining a restraining order and securing emergency custody of any children while advocating for a fair division of assets and spousal support.

Remain Vigilant Post-Divorce

Abusers often maintain their harassment of former spouses even after receiving a divorce judgment. You can remain vigilant by doing the following:

• Maintain copies of active restraining orders and distribute them to those who may need to enforce them.
• Regularly review your credit report for unauthorized charges.
• Change your name and address if necessary.
• Report any violations of restraining orders to law enforcement.

FAQs

Q: Can I File for Divorce Without My Abusive Spouse Knowing?

A: Yes, you can file for divorce without your abusive spouse knowing; however, they will receive divorce papers at some point in time. When personal safety is a concern, you have the option to request a Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) that could give you temporary custody of children and force the abuser to leave the shared home while restricting their access to you. A confidential address program is available to help protect your location.

Q: What Legal Protections Are Available for Victims of Domestic Violence in California?

A: The Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) allows victims to block contact and obtain emergency custody while requiring the abuser to vacate the home. The protection of survivors of abuse stands as the primary concern for courts when making decisions about child custody and financial support. Legal aid organizations provide domestic violence victims with free support services.

Q: How Can I Protect My Children From an Abusive Spouse During Divorce?

A: Yes, you can protect your children from an abusive spouse during divorce. You have the option to include a temporary custody order with a restraining order to protect your children from the abuser. The legal system evaluates instances of domestic violence while deciding custody arrangements, which usually leads to limited or monitored visitation rights.

Maintain a record of all abusive incidents and inform educational institutions and childcare facilities about your custody agreements and safety issues.

Q: Can My Abusive Spouse Contest the Divorce?

A: Your abusive spouse can contest the divorce, but they cannot stop it. In California, no-fault divorce laws allow one spouse to request a divorce without needing their partner’s permission. The spouse can challenge matters such as property division and custody but has no power to prevent the divorce from moving forward. When domestic violence exists in a case, courts can choose to speed up the legal process.

Contact Bickford Blado & Botros Today

Leaving an abusive spouse can create fear in the person trying to escape. Fortunately, you do not have to handle the legal process alone. Bickford Blado & Botros can help you navigate this process. Contact us today to get started.

 

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