When people think of the word divorce, they typically don't get those warm fuzzy feelings. Divorce is not only a harsh word, but a harsh process for many San Diego residents. Below are some of the realities of a divorce that you might encounter along the way. My hope is that by making you aware of these realities, you are better equipped for staring divorce in the face and overcoming these sometimes unpleasant realities while also embracing the pleasant realities.
Expect a Divorce to Take Some Time: Unfortunately, most things related to divorce take longer than expected. Not only is the legal process of a divorce a waiting game, but the grieving process, healing process and acceptance process might be quite the waiting game too. Luckily, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but be prepared for a long tunnel in most cases.
Don't Expect Everyone to Treat You With Compassion: Going through a divorce process is emotionally draining in many aspects. One thing that might come as a surprise is that not everyone you encounter is going to be as compassionate and empathetic of your situation as you would hope. Unfortunately, there are people out there who will judge your personal life and feel the need to express that judgment, even when you are in a tender place emotionally. There are others who will take sides and forget the relationship they once had with you. Consequently, it's important to build a strong support system, whether that's a group of friends, a therapist or a divorce group.
You're More Resilient Then You Think: A divorce can be an emotional rollercoaster. However, many of our clients have found that once the divorce is over and they have their lives back on track, they are able to bounce back and approach life with a new perspective.
Your Kids Are More Resilient Then You Think: Although a divorce can be very emotional for the children involved, depending on the age of the child, you might be surprised at how easily they are able to adjust to their new schedule or new surroundings as a result of the divorce. Intense therapy for your kids might not be as necessary as you once thought. However, during the divorce process it is recommended that you offer your children the option for counseling so that they have a neutral third party to talk with and express the many emotions they might be feeling.